Saturday, March 23, 2013

"Dating" Your Kids- Love Languages

 Life with children can be hectic! As a parent, you have so many jobs! These jobs multiply with the more kids you have! 
As a stay at home mom, I feel that I have the luxury of being around my kids A LOT! However, I am working hard at running the household, making sure people get to where they need to be on time, and CONSTANTLY keeping food (healthy options at that) on the table!!!! It can be tough to stop working and actually be PRESENT with your children, especially when there is so much to do! Let me tell you, I so value the little time I have when the baby is sleeping and the other kids are watching TV so I can actually just sit down with a cup of coffee and do my own thing! 
After our almost three week trip to California, where I was basically a single parent, I really felt the effects of being with my kids but not actually being able to connect with them. We has TONS of fun but I felt as though I wasn't able to individually fill up their love tanks. 
This made me think of The 5 Love Languages by Gary Chapman. If you have never heard of it, there are basically 5 different ways a person receives and gives love. The five love languages are Words of Affirmation, Acts of Service, Receiving Gifts, Quality Time, and Physical Touch.

Knowing how your loved ones receive love is very important to have a deep personal connection with them.  When it comes to children, the book emphasizes that they need to learn how to give and receive love in all the languages because this helps to produce an emotional healthy adult.  Click HERE to visit the sight to find out more about each and discover what your love language is. Click HERE to take a test to figure out what your child's Love Language is!

I am going to focus on ONE of these love languages, Quality Time. No matter what your child's love language is, ALL children need QUALITY time from their parents! This is where you turn off your phone and give your undivided attention to THEM!!!
Jason and I recently started something new to try to get more quality time with our kids! We started going on "dates" with them.
This is not a new concept! I still remember the few dates I had with just me and my dad!
These times when we stop what we are doing and spend a little time with our children, really impact them! They feel important and valued!

These dates can be a special outing that don't happen all the time.
For Example, Both Brenden and I love to build Lego sets so I bought a set, without him knowing. Then I took him out to Panera for bagels and we built it together, with NO INTERRUPTIONS!!!
One time, Jason took Keaten out for doughnuts (her suggestion) and then took her to Chuck E. Cheese to play a few games! She dressed up and everything for this date!
Boy does she LOVE her daddy!!!!

I started feeling like we needed more "dates" on a regular basis. Life is just to crazy to be able to get away with one child all the time. So one day, when the baby was sleeping and Brenden was at school, I asked Keaten if she wanted to go on a "puzzle date" with me. I put my phone in the other room, NO TEMPTATIONS for distraction!!! I pulled out this cool puzzle that my mom gave us and we put it together and used markers and crayons to decorate it! We had so much fun singing and coloring together! 
Another day, when the boys weren't around, I asked Keaten if she wanted to go on a "game date" with me! We chose her princess cupcake game and played it, just us!
Let me just tell you I recommend this, Disney Princess Enchanted Cupcake Party Game,
 if you have a little girl! You work together against time to make cupcakes! It's SO MUCH FUN and no one loses!
Something else we have started to do is go on "family dates"! We might take the kids out on a "family date" to Sonic for shakes. 
The point I wanted to get across with this is that once we add that word "DATE" onto the things we might normally be doing anyways, we are more present with one another! It's a time to relax and have fun just being ourselves and loving on each other!
I urge you to try this sometime in the next few days with your child! Think of something small and fun that you can do with them and just add the word "DATE" to it! 
I would love to hear how this goes for you!!!! Leave a comment on what you did and let me know if it changed the way you hung out together!


  1. I love that you make a moment special by calling it a date! I'm sharing!!!

    1. Thanks Kristen! The kids kept BEGGING for dates!!!! I had to try to incorporate it into our regular life! It has made certain "normal" activities so much more special and has helped us be present with them more!

  2. David and I read that book before we were married--it's great! And you look awesome, BTW. :)

    1. Thanks Mia! Yes, Jason and I read it before we were married too!
      It's fun to watch your children grow and develop their own love languages!


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