Thursday, March 15, 2012

Coin Chart: Behavioral & Financial plan for your 2-6 year old THIS REALLY WORKS!

Every child is different! Some are easier than others and some are just born with a VERY strong will! I definitely had my tough one first! I have studied Child Development ( I have my BA in it) and have worked with kids my whole life... but my first child stumped me! It is different when you are a parent and not just a caregiver because you are with the child all the time. I was getting VERY frustrated ALL the time at my sons behavior starting at 2 1/2 years old. Nothing seemed to work! Frustration comes when you don't know what else to do! You have nothing which will effect the child enough so they will make the right choice and listen ON THEIR OWN! 
I came up with a coin chart when my son was three years old and I wish I would have come up with it sooner but we used it effectively for three years! At the age of six we changed it up a bit and he now manages his own REAL money (very important in a child's development and will blog about soon). 
I am going to tell you how it all works and I provided directions on how I made the coin chart below!

First, you need something tangible that your child REALLY likes! So I came up with Character Coins! They are like money but they are even better because they have your child's 6 FAVORITE characters on them! From the beginning, your child will hold value to the coins because of their FAVORITE  characters!

Second, the system you put into place has to have negative consequence to unwanted behavior, along with positive reinforcement with wanted behavior! I ALWAYS say this statement to my son "It's not YOU I don't like, It's the CHOICE you are making!" It's very important that you don't make your child feel that you don't like them or that THEY are bad...It's their DECISION that just might not be a good one. 

So this is how the coins work: Every day your child starts fresh with all six of their coins! It doesn't matter what horrible decisions they made the day before! In life, if it's a new day, we get to start fresh! If your child goes through the day and loses ALL 6 coins they loose a SPECIAL privilege! This needs to be something BIG.... my son lost all TV, video games, and i pod (anything that was electronic). This was REALLY bad for him even at three years old!!! So he definitely didn't want to loose ALL of his coins! Also, there is NO WAY for your child to earn the coins back if they loose them ALL. But they can start over tomorrow! Now, here comes the positive reinforcement of good behavior. DIG for ANYTHING good! You have to be watching for any behaviors you want them to repeat! When they do anything positive say "I really love how you..... (fill in the blank) you have earned a coin back!" Now if they haven't lost any coins yet that day, you can still point out that they made a good decision. If they already have lost ALL their coins, say something like... "I would have loved to give you a coin back for what you just did. I love that decision you just made! Tomorrow is a new day and you can start out fresh with ALL of your coins!"

Here is where it gets good! Most children want things when out shopping right? So this chart helps to eliminate begging for things and helps your child work to EARN what they want. This also helps them to VALUE their things more. How can the chart do this?! This is how: Every day that your child has ALL of their coins at the end of the day, they get a sticker! After earning 10 stickers in a row, they reach a GOAL! This is where you need to set up a system that will work for your family and your child. What we set up for my son was that every time he made ten stickers in a row, he earned a ten dollar goal. This sometimes took him weeks! So if your child is normally pretty good and doesn't want lots of things when you are out, you might want to set up an amount of money that you can save for them when they actually want to get something and the rest can go in their savings account (this is what I'm going to do for my daughter who is a VERY good listener! Meaning, she will probably reach goals every 10 days when it would normally take my son 2/3 weeks to reach a goal!)

What we are trying to do, and what this chart helps us achieve, as parents/caregivers is to show our children that positive things happen when they make good choices and negative things happen when they make unfavorable choices.

Here are some examples to help you understand the chart!
If your child is about to make a decision that isn't ok or they aren't listening to you when you need them to, this is time to warn "I'm gunna have to take a coin if you don't listen or if you don't stop (fill in the blank)." and that is all you say. If it persists you simply say "Ah Oh, that's one coin." You want to try not to get angry in this process... remember you are the parent and you are in control!!! Many times my son would persist and I would have to say, "Ah Oh, that's two coins. Ah Oh, that's three coins....." Normally, they will stop before you take them all away but there have been times when I've taken four coins and I remind my son that he only has two coins left and when he loses ALL of his coins he will lose ALL Tv for the rest of the day! It does help to remind your child especially at this age!

Other things I would say is, "Oh, all of this fighting is draining my energy, do you need to pay me a coin to help me get some of my energy back?" or "Look at all of these toys in the living room, are you going to pick them up or pay me a coin to do it for you?" 
These examples stem from Love and Logic. If you have time click they link and check them out! They really help you get a handle on how to parent in tough situations!



Another thing to remember, when first establishing this chart is your child will test it! They will need to know all of the rules and after that if YOU are going to follow through in making this really work. As a  babysitter and nanny for 15 plus years this is the NUMBER ONE thing I see parents do! THEY don't follow through on the rules so the rules they "try" to put in place don't work! If you want this chart to work in establishing positive behavior in your child YOU have to follow the rules too! Make sure they get a sticker if all of their coins are there by the end of the day! Make sure you tangibly have them go get you a coin if they are doing something unwanted. If you are not home and they lose coins while you are out, have them go get the number of coins lost right when you get home! 
ALSO, explain the rules to everyone who watches your child! If you work the chart effectively but your spouse doesn't, it doesn't work as well because "sometimes" they get away with things and "sometimes" they don't!

Another thing is your goals can sometimes be a special outing with a special person. You can also implement special things you already were planning as a goal! They don't ALWAYS have to cost you money!!! Get creative and think of things your child loves to do! Also, As my son got older and wanted more expensive toys, he would save his goals to reach the price of the specific item! This is good for young minds because they don't understand the concept of money all the way but they do understand how long it takes them to reach a goal. I can't tell you how many times I explained the cost of something to my son by the amount of goals it is! For Example, The Death Star Lego set is around 400 dollars. My husband and I would explain to him that it is FORTY GOALS to buy that!!! He would think about it and then try to choose something else more in his price range! =) Also, I explained to my son when he first started Gymnastics that I pay 5 goals every month for him to be in his class. They take it more seriously if they know those details. 

Lastly, The more you personalize this chart with characters your child loves and stickers of their FAVORITE things, the more effective this chart will be! 

I REALLY hope this helps you parents/caregivers out there, in need of a plan! If implemented right, this chart works with any child age 2 1/2 to 6 years! PLEASE let me know in comments if there is something I didn't explain enough or if you have any other questions!!! I will be happy to help!

How to make a Coin Chart:
Have your child help pick 6 different picture from the internet of their favorite characters and print them out. I used a compass to make a 3 inch circle around each print out!
 For fun I have used a rainbow theme but you can customize to just use your child's favorite colors! I used a glue stick and glued the pictures to a 3 1/2 inch circle of a plain color paper. Then I took the six coins to Kinkos copy store (you can go to any store like it near you). They have a lamination machine and it costs 2 dollars for an 8 1/2 X 11 sheet. Your coins will all fit on that size paper! Cut them out and there are your coins! *Tip: watch out that you don't cut too close to the coin... you can see where the seal stops on the laminate and you don't want to cut into it!

Here is my sons old chart which I got lucky and used to make my daughters new chart! You need to make pockets at the top of the chart for the coins to be placed in and pulled out by your child. I also laminated the front of the pockets labeled character, C, O, I, N, and S because if you just left them paper they would not be very sturdy for daily use! Once laminated, I just hot glued the edges down to make a pocket for the coins to fit into!
 This piece of paper is just a regular poster board from any craft store which costs about 30 cents! If you choose a smaller piece of paper, remember that you are going to have to size down your coins! This is one of the reasons I used such a big sheet of paper!
 Another reason it is good to use this size is because of most sticker sizes. This chart makes perfect spaces for ten regular stickers in a row! If you make the boxes too small you will have to search for really small stickers to fit in the spaces. So you make rows of ten boxes for your stickers and the larger box to the right is where you write in what goal they got! The blank space to the left is to fill in with fun pictures your child will like.... get creative, the more personalized, the better!
Here is my big 3 1/2 year old, excited to start her coin chart! =) I think it's so cute how her FAVORITE coin is Jack Black! If she doesn't listen, this coin is the LAST one she will choose to go! =)

 *A good Tip, Try to push through the first ten stickers to the first goal with your child. You want them to understand that they EARN things for positive behavior and that this chart will really work for them!! If they have already been asking you for a special toy or something like that, write it down in the  goal column on the right so they can get excited about the special thing!

*In the real world, if we do good work we get compensation! This chart gets your child ready for REAL life work and helps them not to just expect things handed to them whenever they want it! Hope this system works as well for you as it has for me and I would LOVE to hear about how it is working and see pictures of the charts you make!

*UPDATE* I have just hit the one year anniversary for my blog, October 2012! I can't believe the responses I have gotten in just a few short months! If you have made this chart and would like to share it or have questions, I have JUST started a Facebook page and would love it if you could share a photo of your chart and how it's working for you! Also, PLEASE "like" my facebook page while you are there! Thank you for your support! HERE is the link!

*I finally put together a post about others who have made their own charts! Click HERE if you what to see what others have done!


133 comments:

  1. Anonymous3/15/2012

    Would you mind telling us some of the rules you would have for your two and a half year old?
    Thank you!!!

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    1. Well, I would say it always depends on the child! Looking back on both my son and daughter at two 1/2, they were both very different and I would have different rules set up for how they acted.... In general, some good rules for that age is for them to "use their words" instead of screaming, hitting, etc. for what they want. To play nicely at parks, malls and with friends/siblings. To share toys nicely with friends/siblings. My son at this age would sometimes get so frustrated with things that he would hit me. Obviously, you don't want that behavior repeated. As a rule of thumb, it's good not to punish your child for eating habits, potty, or sleeping...normally that makes things worse in those areas.
      I don't know if any of this helps.....
      Are you having problems in certain areas with your child?

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    2. Anonymous3/23/2013

      I'm having an issue with my 6yo son at school. He is hitting, be very silly and doing a LOT of talking and talking back. Can you use the coin chart for school behavior too? Could that be one of the established rules? Behaviors at home are ok, but could be better. What are some rules you have in place and other consequences?

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    3. In response to the issues with 6 year old.... You can definitely use the coin chart for school behavior! If I were you, I would let the teacher know about your system and then maybe you can be in contact through email if he does something that is unwanted. When you take his coins away for something that happens at school, you need to bring him to his chart and explain to him what behavior he did that wasn't ok and explain that is why he has to give you so many coins.
      By the time my son was starting elementary school, we started this chart system for him, http://lifesprinkledwithglitter.blogspot.com/2012/03/simple-behavorial-financial-chart-for.html. I think it works a lot better for older children. He get an Oops mark when he does something he knows isn't ok. But the point is... He is constantly getting good marks for wanted behavior! The positive affirmation really helps children to strive and work to do what is wanted! We have a two areas that we REALLY have to work hard on and they are using words (instead of hitting) and Cleaning up! But every child is different with where they struggle. I hope this helps to answer your questions!!!

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    4. Anonymous3/24/2013

      I love this one too! My son will be 7 in May so I was wondering if I should modify the coin chart. I just drew all the lines for the coin chart. He has seen the character coins and is excited. We made a list of things he needs to work on and a list of his $10 goals. He even talked about saving and trying to get something for $20. So I'll probably just give him the $10 and let him decide to save or spend. I wish I would have seen this post before I made the coin chart. But we are going to go ahead with it and when I change it up, I'll definitely be using the Ooops chart. This is definitely helpful!

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    5. Great! Since he has never had the character coins, they are really fun and a great motivator! My son had his coins for over three years before we changed the system! So I think it will still be a great system for him! Let me know how it all goes! =)

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  2. Christine3/18/2012

    This is fabulous! Do you mind if I "pin it" so I can have it for future reference?

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    1. Christine, of course I don't mind if u pin it!!! I would love to hear about it or see pictures if you ever make a chart! And let me know if u have any questions! There is so much info with this one post that I hope I explained everything well! =]

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  3. This is awesome. I cannot wait to make this! I have a very stubborn 4yrs old, and YES I get frustrated! We have a morning routine chart that he really loves, I don't know why I didn't implement it more to something like this! Thanks so much, I hope it works!

    Found you through Pinterest :)

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    1. Stephanie,
      I'm so happy you found my chart on pinterest! I was wondering how I was going to be able to get the chart out to as many moms/caregivers as possible and pinterest has really been a good way to show LOTS of people in a short time! I know it will work for you! It will really help you be less frustrated and your child will slowly learn what behaviors are desired by the positive reinforcements of the coin system! Please keep me posted on how everything goes!

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  4. Jennifer3/19/2012

    I love this idea. I have a couple of questions--First, do they get chances to earn back the coins that they lose throughout the day so long as they haven't lost all the coins total? Please explain that a little more for me, maybe I'm the only one. My second question is do they have to earn the 10 back to back? Meaning, if they make it to day 8 and they get all their coins taken do they start back over at 1 the next day? Thanks so much for your insight!

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    1. Jennifer, Yes you want them to earn back the coins to let them know that making a bad decision doesn't ruin them for the WHOLE day! You want to reinforce that they can CHANGE their behavior and gain back the coins! The reason why I stress not giving them back if they lose all six is because that is a lot of bad choices and it usually means they need an extra consequence. It also helps them to really think twice before they get so close to losing ALL of their coins! =)

      The ten stickers are there on the chart....They can never lose a sticker, they just might not earn one in one day...You just say "Oh to bad you didn't keep all of your coins today so you don't get a sticker. I know you can do better tomorrow and earn one." And the stickers just rack up until they reach ten. An example...In 5 days my daughter has earned 3 stickers...there were two days where she didn't have all of her coins.... So she still has seven stickers to go to reach the goal column and she will earn her first goal.

      Thank you for asking questions!
      I hope my answers help! Let me know if you still need me to explain! I know it can get complicated at first, trying to understand it all before you start! But it will be really simple when you have it all in place! =)

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    2. Anonymous4/06/2012

      I love this idea and think it will work perfectly for my 4 year old. We just picked out his superhero coins!! Started off with a struggle already, because he didn't want me to cut around his pictures, so we will have big coins :) Anyways, my question is how do you make the pockets for the top again? I am not very crafty and need step by step intructions...Thanks for this great idea. I am really hoping it helps my son make better choices. We always say make better choices, but don't think he is grasping it.

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  5. Wow. I've been trying to figure out something like this...And now you've done it for me! LOVE LOVE LOVE how you've set it up. This will be PERFECT for my two-and-a-half-year-old. Now I'm EAGERLY waiting for you to post what you've graduated your son to - I have a six-year-old as well, and REALLY need to get something in the works for her. I'd love for it to be something similar and organized in the same manner and this one, so they both feel like they have the same thing going on. Any sneak peaks at that you could give me? Thanks so much for sharing this!!

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    1. Leah, I am so happy you found this! I love to help out! I know how it is....searching for ANYTHING that will work! I would love to hear how it goes for u!
      My son's plan is a lot more simple! But it graduates from this plan since he was so used to this system.... There is no more character coins... It's real money! He was ready for it and loves the compensation every week! =]
      I will try to post it tomorrow! =] Thanks for your interest!

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    2. Super :) I'll check back in tomorrow!!

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    3. Leah,
      I don't think I can get to it today! But I promise it will be my next post and before the weekend is over! =)

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    4. No worries, I know how life can get! I'm actually impressed you do such a great job keeping up with all your comments, and posting as often as you do! I certainly don't (I'm lucky if I post once a month...)

      Anyway, I think I've figured out what I'm going to do. I'm going to do it with my 2 year old the way you described. For my 6 year old I'm making 4 coins that look like quarters on each side, which will each represent a quarter, therefore she has the ability to earn a dollar a day, as long as she has all 4 quarters to make that dollar (all or nothing for a day), and still have the consequence for having them all taken away. I'll do the sticker chart, but with 7 columns, each representing a day of the week so if she doesn't get the dollar, she doesn't get the sticker. Then all money for the week will be given at the end of the week. I think this will be great. Both girls have a chart and same idea, but for the two year old the frequency will be the goal (how soon can you reach the goal?) and for the six year old it's the quantity (Do you think you can get a dollar every day this week?). Perfect. So, I've made my coins, and just have to get the charts finished! Very excited to start this!!!

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    5. Leah, it sounds like u got it together!!! I always think its good to come up with a system that works well for you and you kids... Tweak it to fit your family! =] I will still post my sons chart tomorrow so you could see what We do with him! =]

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    6. Ok Leah, I posted the chart this morning! =)

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    7. Leah, if you have made a chart for your child, I would love to put a few examples of what other people have done... If you are interested you can just email me a picture of your chart at glitterlips78@hotmail.com... if not, that's ok too! =)

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  6. Anonymous3/21/2012

    I'm having trouble understanding how you made the pockets at the top.

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    1. Ok, I was wondering if I explained it enough! What I did was, I used the same colored paper as I used for the coin backing. I just cut out the rectangles in each color paper to fit the length of each pocket. I also took those rectangles and got them laminated, just like the coins! I just didn't have a picture of this process because I was making my daughters chart out of my sons old chart! After you have the 6 rectangles laminated and cut out, like the coins, all you have to do is hot glue the two sides and the bottom down to the poster! You don't want to hot glue the top of the rectangle otherwise it won't form a pocket.... Does this help to explain it? I hope so! If not let me know! =) Thanks for the question!

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    2. Anonymous3/22/2012

      Yes! Thank you!

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  7. Michelle3/22/2012

    Hi! This chart is amazing! I am a nanny and the parents I work for are having a hard time being consistent and when I found this I knew I had to make it! I think its really going to help us all. One question: where do you put yhe coins that they lose? And do you have the child take it and put it somewhere or do you?

    Thanks!!

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    1. Michelle, I'm glad you are going to use this for the child you nanny! I have nannied MANY children over the years.... as long as you and the parents are all on the same page, this will REALLY work for everyone involved! Make sure you have them go get the coin from the chart! They are paying you for their unwanted behavior! If they are throwing a HUGE fit and won't go get a coin for you, you can just say "Ah Oh, I'm gonna have to take a coin now" and just go get one. Then you are in charge of the coin from there....come up with a good spot that only you and the parents will put the coins and the child can't just go get them! When they earn a coin back, you can give it to them to put back on the chart but they aren't in charge of the coins once lost! Hope tho helps! =)

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  8. Thank you so much, i have been looking for a good sticker chart for my 3 1/2 year old. I have a question though, Do you think this would work for a 2yr old. My daughter is my stubborn child and has recently started hitting whenever she gets frustrated and nothing I do seems to deter her. Ive tried time-outs, she always has to say sorry (which was a big punishment for my son but she just doesn't seem to care she will be hitting and saying sorry at the same time!) I've even resorted to smacking her hand when she hits which just seems so hypocritical to me. do you think a two year old would have a good enough understanding to also do this sticker chart?

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    1. Samantha, I am so happy you found my chart system! My son was REALLY hard starting at two, and like your daughter....NOTHING worked!!!! Time out didn't phase him! Although, even with this chart I will say we never stopped having "calm down time" it's like a time out but just my son had to step away and calm his body down... He is a hitter too! I WISH I made up this system earlier! If your daughter is acting up then she is old enough for this system!!! You will just have to probably create different consequences for your children.... TV for BOTH of my kids is a HORRIBLE thing to lose (after all 6 coins are gone) Also, in the case of your two year old, you want to try and get her through to the first goal as soon as possible so she can start understanding the system....a way to do this is to look for tiny little things she does that is good and praise her and give her her lost coins back!!! The way the system works will also have to be explained a lot in the beginning. But their coins will become very important to them, especially since you are doing it with BOTH children! If you need any more help on anything specific please ask! I would love to help you brainstorm through any situation!

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  9. I am going to make this ASAP for my 3 and 5 year old kids. My 3 year old son is beginning to be very disobedient and I feel as if nothing is working lately. I am very excited to start this. Thank you for your time and effort in posting about this. Found you through pintrest!

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    1. I'm so happy you found my system! Just starting it over again with my 3 1/2 year old daughter, who is normally pretty easy going, It works SO WELL! My daughter is a screamer! She hasn't even made it to her first goal yet and she has already started calming herself down and using her words more! Three is a tough stage, this should be perfect for your son and for you to feel more in control! Let me know if you have any questions! =)

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  10. Michelle3/23/2012

    I just made the chart! I am going to have the parents I work for start it this weekend. I think its best if they start out since they are the ones who have the behavioral issues with their 3 year old(he is really great when I have him all week but hits and screams at them when they have him). I am having a hard time helping them to decided what to take away if he looses all 6 coins...they don't really ever let him watch tv(or at least its not an every day thing). what other suggestions could you give me? Also should we be coming up with each goal or letting him? Thanks!!! :-)

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    1. Michelle, I would suggest that maybe you can take away a special privilege that he normally has or a certain toy or thing he REALLY likes and say that it is gone for the rest of the day. There has to be something he REALLY likes that he would not like to lose! If it's a special toy...than that will always change over the months so you will have to say "If you lose all of your coins, you will lose something special to you." Don't name a specific object.

      The goals should be chosen by him! Just like its our choice to do what we want with the money we make! However, you can always suggest things that you were going to get him anyways to see if he would choose that AND remember it can also be an outing....I just recently told my daughter if she wants to go to the movie theater for her goal that could be something fun! But it is up to her to choose after I suggest things! Normally what ALWAYS happens is my children want things when out at the store and then I say "Oh, that is very special! I think you only have three more stickers to earn and then maybe you will chose that for your goal!" =) I LOVE this because there is no fights for things when I leave stores!!!

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    2. Michelle, If it would be ok with you, I would love to have a picture of your chart so I can post a blog on the different charts other people have made! you can just email the picture to me @ glitterlips78@hotmail.com.... if not, thats ok too.... =) hope everything is working out!

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  11. michelle3/24/2012

    Sorry to ask sooo many questions but i am wondering how bed time factors into the chart? that is when he is the worst for his parents and that is at the tail end of the day so should we have the sticker given(if he ears a sticker) first thing every morning in the event that he is a pain to get to bed the night before?

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    1. We actually find that giving the sticker first thing in the morning works best! Our son gave us a lot of trouble at night TOO! Anyways there is so much to a nighttime routine that you don't want to add another thing! =]

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  12. Thank you so much for this! I haven't made it or tried it yet, but your son at 2 1/2 sounds so much like my son right now! Hitting and not using his words even tho he can talk better than most 3 1/2 year old! We are already using this idea without the structure. And we all know kids crave structure. I will make this this week and let you know how it goes! Found you on Pinterest!

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    1. I'm SO HAPPY you found me on Pinterest!! Yes, my son could speak well and clearly really early...just very strong ideas on what he wanted and it HAD to go his way!!! Sounds like you have a great little boy, like me! It's awesome that they have their own ideas and they don't want to just take no for an answer....Very good quality in an adult and our boys will go far, if the structure is there for them to not get out of control! Good luck! I know you can do it and I can't wait to hear how things start helping in weeks to come! =)

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  13. Anonymous4/01/2012

    Awesome idea! One quick question though, what happens when the chart is full? You mentioned you were using your son's old one for your daughter, how did you make it re -usable? Did I miss that somewhere?

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    1. Actually it took my son over a year to fill his chart up and after he filled it up a second time, that is when I passed it down to sister! All you have to do is cover over JUST the area where the stickers and goals are! Just measure and cut out a piece of poster board and tape or hot glue it over that whole part for a fresh new chart...ready to go again! =)
      When I used the old chart for my daughter I just left the top coin pockets and hot glued a whole new CLEAN section to the bottom! I hope this makes sense! let me know! =)

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  14. brilliant, thank you for sharing :)

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  15. Hi there!
    I love your chart! I was just wondering though, if the child loses all of his coins by bedtime, does losing the special privledge occur the following day?
    Thanks!

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    1. Cassi, if they lose them all right at bedtime then the consequence is that they don't get the sticker the next day.... No matter what, things start over the next day.... It just helps them to learn that they can make mistakes but change and make it better. Anyways, as little as these kids are they don't even remember what they did after a time out let alone after a whole night sleep! =] hope this helps! =]

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  16. I will also send you a copy of our chart! Just finished it today! My son is VERY excited about it! Our first goal is Chuck E Cheese! We have to drive 3 hours to get to one, so its a REALLY special first goal to hit. We are going to really try to push this first one thru so he sees the huge benefit!!! Thanks again!

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  17. You do a wonderful job of explaining how to make these! Thank you so much for sharing such a great idea!!

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  18. Colleen - This looks like a great idea, but I'm wondering if it would work in two households at the same time. I work full-time and my mom watches my 3 year old. She is with him most of the day 4-5 days a week and sometimes on the weekend. We need something to try and improve his behavior and listening skills and I think it would work, but not sure how to share the chart. Any ideas would be great.

    Thanks, Yvette

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    1. Yvette,
      Because your mother has him so much I would defiantly say that she should have a chart! It is a little more work to make two charts but you could keep the two sinked.... She can tell you how he is doing with his coins when you pick him up and you can keep the chart going from where she left off! It actually works REALLY well when all parties are following the chart together! i would suggest to make two large charts or have one large and one travel chart for where he is the least....did you see my travel coin chart? here is the link http://lifesprinkledwithglitter.blogspot.com/2012/03/travel-coin-chart.html
      If you all work together with the system I think it will be really great for your son to have consistency with all who watch him! =)
      hope this helps....

      Delete
  19. Anonymous4/11/2012

    Hiya. Wow your chart seems an excellent way to persue good behaviour. I am in a bad situation at the moment. My 6 year old daughter has developed a very cheeky side, and very rarely listens to myself or my partner. It is causing arguments between us as sometimes as my partner says I don't follow through with punishments. I feel I can set punishments sometimes but not always stick to them. If i don't sort it out it's going to get worse, but i dont know where to start!

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    1. Hi,
      I hope making a chart can help you out in dealing with your daughter. It is hard at first but once you get a system going it will help you and your partner be consistent with your daughter. I will also say that along with my chart systems I really recommend Love and logic! You can just google it! They give great advice on how to react to your child in LOTS of different situations. It has helped me TREMENDOUSLY with my children and the kids I nanny for! Also, I would give one piece of advice.... It's better not to even give a consequence at all then to give one and not follow through...if you need time to think of a consequence it's ok to tell your daughter, "I will get back to you with a consequence but for now don't worry about it!"
      The great thing about the coin chart is most consequences have to do with the coins so you don't have to come up with a lot of things which are hard to keep in place with her!
      I would love to hear back from you to see how everything is going once you start a system! =)
      Good Luck!
      *Colleen

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  20. Angela4/13/2012

    I love this idea!!! I am excited to start makig this with my daughter when she wakes up from nap. Just one question where do u get the coins?

    angela

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    1. Angela,
      I'm glad you are going to make a chart with your daughter!
      I hope my explanations were clear on how to make the coins...
      They are pretty straight forward but if you get stuck on a specific step, let me know! =)
      *Colleen

      Delete
  21. Anonymous4/16/2012

    I found this chart on pinterest and LOVE that you've incorporated the Love & Logic principles into a chart system! Thanks a million, I'll be starting this soon with my 19-month old :)
    -Nicci

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    1. Nicci,
      I'm glad you noticed that!!! Love & Logic is the best!!! I love how they help to give natural consequences with the choices kids make! A GREAT recourse for EVERY parent!!! Im glad you found my chart! =)

      Delete
    2. resource not recourse =)

      Delete
  22. Anonymous4/16/2012

    We made the chart today and my daughter helped! I really think letting her help and explaining the process to her as we went along will help her understand its use even more. She is 3 1/2 and is good with structure as she has been in preschool since September. We have had a huge attitude problem with her since her little brother was born in February. I am hoping this will help, I am to the point of "Somethings gotta give"!!!!! I will let you know how it goes! :)

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    1. Anonymous4/16/2012

      Also, I added a "naughty pocket" to the side which is where we will store her coins if she gets one taken away. She really seemed to understand this concept right away and she knows that is NOT where she wants her precious coins or as she calls them her "movies" because they are all characters of her favorite tv shows!

      Delete
    2. I love the "naughty pocket" idea!!! Then you will hopefully never lose the coins! My daughter is exactly 3 1/2 also!!! Letting them help make it is the BEST way for them to put a lot of value into the coins! I had to take a coin from my daughter yesterday and I am telling you....She was SCREAMING! It's the worst punishment! And I always remind her she can change and earn it back!
      If you don't mind, I would LOVE a picture of your chart! I am almost ready to do a blog post about other charts people have made! Here is my email if you are interested glitterlips78@hotmail.com
      I hope the chart works well for you and her attitude is just a phase your daughter is going through as she gets used to her baby brother. =)
      *Colleen

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  23. Anonymous4/18/2012

    im going to try this with my 3 year old boy who is known for having loads of meltdowns but is very smart. We just had a baby 1 1/2 months ago so its been fusterating for all of us trying to get a routine and he should like this cuz he loves MONEY :) thank you will post on how he does on this

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    Replies
    1. This will really be a good thing for him if he loves money! =) Can't wait to hear how he does!
      *Colleen

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  24. Hi! I am a nanny of a very strong-willed 3 year old. I am only with her 2 hours every morning to get her up and ready for school then walk with her to school. Even this has become an extreme struggle! The mom is pregnant and home now on bed rest, making it very difficult for me to have a smooth morning with the 3 year old because she always wants mom! I found your chart on pinterest and am FOREVER grateful! I have been slowly making the chart all week (I will email you a picture with my changes that you can use however you want) and talking the Mom into helping me implement it. We will start using it Monday and I am really excited to see how it goes. I've made it "Hello Kitty" themed because she LOVES it and has just gotten potty trained and is wearing Hello Kitty underwear!

    I have made some changes:
    1) I have listed daily activities she must complete (getting dressed, breakfast, brushing her hair, walking to school, etc.) and she can earn a sticker for completing these tasks well (i.e. not screaming for mom, no crying, no arguing). When she earns 5 stickers in EACH task, she earns an extra sticker towards her goal.
    2) She earns 1 sticker (Hello Kitty, of course!) towards her goal every day that she keeps all 6 coins, same as your chart.
    3) I've laminated the whole chart so we can peal off the stickers when she's completed it and I've used dry erase markers to write the daily activities so as she grows or the tasks become too easy we can change them.
    4) I've used Velcro to hold the coins on instead of pockets, I had some around and I couldn't be bothered with making pockets hahaha.

    I'm hoping the Mom and Dad will get on board and use this in the afternoons with her as well. I'd also really like to have the daycare report if she has a bad day or a good day and she can lose/earn a coin for her behavior at daycare. I think once they see the chart and how it works they will really like it, they are tired of her behavior even more than I am!

    So thanks again and I will email you the picture of my chart!!

    -A very, VERY, grateful Nanny,
    Emily

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  25. Anonymous4/26/2012

    my Husband is in the military, and in September we just reunited with him. Along with also adding a little Brother last June, my 4.5 year old has been really pushing us to the edge with his constant hitting, fits, and NO's! We are at the point of not knowing what to do or where to turn. I was looking on behavior charts on pintrest and came across your chart. I read your entire column, and I feel like this is EXACTLY what we need. I've worked in daycare for 4 years and went to school for elementary education and still couldnt find an answer. We are SO excited to make our chart & get started.

    THANK YOU :) :)
    Nicole!

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    Replies
    1. Nicole,
      I am so happy to help!!! I'm glad you found my chart and hope it works for you!
      It is a great structure chart to put in place for any child... they will know exactly what their actions (good and bad) will get them! =)
      let me know how it goes!

      Delete
  26. Hi Colleen,
    Thank you SO much for posting this link on babycenter.com! I was reading the article on defiance as my almost 3 yr old daughter is testing me to the limit right now!! I am SO excited to get this chart started, looking online now for her favourite characters!
    Thanks a million, will let you know how it goes! :o)

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    1. Zoe,
      I'm so glad you found my chart through Babycenter!!!
      I'm just trying to get it out there to as many people possible that can use it!
      Can't wait to hear how it works for you guys!

      Delete
    2. Well we started today! Day 1 not great but as you mentioned, they will probably resist at first! Gave her all 6 coins back at the end of the night for saying thank you, sharing, eating all her dinner, etc, just to get the ball rolling lol!
      Where can I upload my pic of the chart so you can see it? Not as good looking as yours but it will do ha ha!
      Thanks again! :) Oh and congrats on your pregnancy, not long to go now! :)

      Delete
    3. Okay duh I just saw your email in one of the comments above so I will email it to you! Cheers! :)

      Delete
  27. O.M.G. I just found this on Pinterest and I am SO happy. We have a very "spirited" 4.5 year old. For the past 2-ish years it has caused havoc in our lives and lately we (my husband and I) fight about it a lot because of lack of patience. Anyway, we've been trying to practice Love and Logic and I've had some success with it and I firmly believe in the method rather than "punishment" so to speak.

    I think this is a great way to help our son. We have a responsibility chart that he loves to use. So, the chart idea is great and we've recently been trying to explain the concept of money to him as he loves Legos but doesn't understand cost.

    Ahh....just so excited to show my husband this idea this evening and I think we'll make it this weekend!

    Thank you! Thank you! Thank you! :)

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    1. Nedra,
      I am SOOOO happy you found my chart system! Your son sounds a lot like mine! He also LOVES Legos and would constantly ask for sets like the Death Star....which is around 500 dollars! =) We set his goal amount to be around 10 dollars....so a lot of times we would explain the cost of a set by how many goals it would take to buy it! I also started to explain to him how much we pay for things like his gymnastics class every month...."to go to this class mommy and daddy have to pay 5 goals every month!" He really got the picture of how much work that is to pay for and what we do for him on a regular basis! It's a great system and works really well! Wish you all the luck with it! please keep in touch to let me know how its going!

      Delete
  28. I found this on pinterest and am really excited to start this with my almost 4 year old daughter. I'll be sure to share a photo of our chart and let you know how it goes.

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  29. Anonymous6/08/2012

    I love the idea of this chart. I have a question for you, how do you deal with issues outside of the house? We have issues with hitting, etc when we're out with friends or not listening when running errands. Do you just verbally take away the coin and then do it when you get home? Thanks for your help!!

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    1. This is exactly why this chart works so well....because the rules follow you wherever you go! Whenever they are doing a behavior that is unwanted you take a coin! Just remember how many are taken away while you are out and have your child get them once you get home! ****But just as they LOSE them they can GAIN them back while you are out!!!!

      One time we had THE WORST melt down at Target and my son lost ALL of his coins! He lost his TV privileges right there in the store and he knew it wasn't ok for him to act the way he did!
      I also made up a travel coin chart for when you take trips because u won't be going home in the evening to your chart!

      Once you start the system your child will always know what to expect because it all goes back to this one system!
      I hope this explanation helps! Good luck to you with your child! =)

      Delete
    2. incase you didn't see my post on the travel chart, here is the link!
      http://lifesprinkledwithglitter.blogspot.com/2012/03/travel-coin-chart.html

      Delete
  30. Good way of posting dear. it's really nice post. Thanks for sharing it dear.

    Financial Aid

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  31. I just made this for my almost 3 year old daughter who is very independent and strong willed. It is amazing how quickly her behavior has started to turn around. She does NOT want to lose her coins. She loves the coins soo much to the point that she wants to play with them a lot and carry them around in a little basket. She even brought them with us in her little purse to the store today. Do you think it will work as well if she uses them in this way? My only concern is that she will lose them and I will have to make new ones, but I guess that is not so bad if it works. Thanks for the great idea. I hope it continues to work for her after the novelty wears off. I love the emphasis on making good choices.

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  32. My husband and I just made this chart last night for our almost 3 year old son. He is very defiant and does not listen at all! We have tried time-outs, spanking, and just plain old yelling at him but nothing has worked so far. I am really hoping that this chart will be our solution. So we started this morning and he has already lost ALL of his coins. It is only 10:00 here so now I am unsure of what to do for the rest of the day since he can't earn any back. I have taken away cartoons for the remainder of the day but he is still making bad decisions. He is currently in time-out but as I said before that doesn't really faze him. Do you have any suggestions for what I could do as punishment after he has lost ALL of his coins?
    Thank you so much!!!

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    1. I totally understand what you are going through! This is a perfect example of what I talked about in the beginning of the chart....
      You kind of have to be a little lenient to push them through to a goal! They don't fully understand the chart until they see it works for them... He lost all coins so you have to start over tomorrow but find ANY LITTLE good choice and praise it! Even, good job playing quietly for five minutes! ANYTHING!!! Remind him that he will earn all of his coins back to start over tomorrow before he goes to bed! Im telling you he is going to test the limits of the chart!
      If your son really cares about TV like mine did, he will see that losing it for the day was really bad!
      He won't want to keep losing all of his coins! If he doesn't care that much, maybe there is something he cares about more....
      you might have to make it his favorite toy at the time.... then put it up high but where he can see it all day!

      As for the rest of the day, I would just keep calm, remember u r the parent, and when he makes a bad choice, just say "UH OH, that was not ok." and put him in his room to calm down.... don't let him get a rise out of u! He will see that you aren't going to tolerate the behavior.... It just takes time....
      I will give you a small example, when we were moving our son out of our bed and into his own room (2 1/2 years old) he was really upset.... it took three hours the first night but my husband and I just kept taking him back to his bed without talking to him... it was hard but he got the point that we went going to give in and he had to sleep in his own bed!
      so my point is, stay calm and stay strong! you may think that removing him from the situation isn't helping but he will se that you aren't going to tolerate certain behaviors! If u r consistent over time...he will get it!
      I hope this helps a little!
      please ask if you have any more questions....I would love to help u out!
      Also I suggest taking a look at love and logic! it would really help u! It helped me SO MUCH!!!

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  33. So after he lost all of his coins I had to put him in time-out which has never worked before but I was optimistic and I stayed calm the whole time. I told him he had to sit on the chair for 2 minutes...well he didn't like that very well not to mention that I don't think he thought that I was really going to follow through. After about 15 mins of me resetting the timer I took him upstairs to his bed and told him since he didn't want to sit in the chair for 2 mins that he now had to stay in his bed for 5 mins. That lasted at least 45 mins of me putting him back in his bed until he FINALLY stayed for 5 mins!! I was so excited that I lasted that long and never got upset with him. I was also proud that he finally followed through!

    He did not like me taking away cartoons all day! We went to my grandmas house and I wouldn't let him watch any there either. By the end of the day he really wanted his cartoons back...so I think that was the best thing for me to take away. I reminded him that he gets to watch cartoons tomorrow as long as he doesn't lose all of his coins again. He did ask about his coins towards the end of the day too so I was glad that he showed concern for when he could have them back.

    So thank you so much for this wonderful idea and the great support...it was just what we needed to get our family on track!! :)

    One more thing...my son goes to my grandmas house and my mother-in-laws house every other Weds. Do you think it would work to just take the chart to their houses and just explain to them how it works? Or should we just do the chart at home? Thanks again!!

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    1. I am so happy you are having a break through with your son! It's so tough sometimes to stay calm when they are acting up! That is my worst struggle but when they don't get a rise out of us and we stick with the rules.... they know they can't get away with certain behaviors! =) I will tell you, instead of time outs on a chair I just told my son he had to have a "calm down time" in his room. It's just a small break when they are having trouble listening.

      As for the chart at grandparents house, I totally recommend as many family members getting on board as possible!!! If you are having trouble with him most likely they are also and it will just help them out! It won't mess up your chart at home if they don't because he will know YOUR rules and he will know what to expect with YOU!
      I have posted a travel chart that I use when we go on vacations... you could use this for grandmas house!

      here is the link http://lifesprinkledwithglitter.blogspot.com/2012/03/travel-coin-chart.html

      another thing I did was just tell grandma about our system and told them they could take coins away and when my child got home he went right to his chart to give me the coins he lost, kind of like the way you do it if they lose one when you are out shopping!
      but my child rarely was with his grandparents alone so if your son is there a lot you might want to do the travel chart.

      Once again, I am SO EXCITED for your break through and I know this will work for you!
      GREAT JOB!!!

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  34. Anonymous7/30/2012

    We just implemented this chart with our 4 year old son on Saturday. I love the chart and feel it is working well, but I'd like your opinion on a couple things. The first two days he ended the day with all coins (got one taken away each day, but earned it back). He was very excited and is excited about his goal we have written down. My first question is this. What type of things do your children need to do to earn a coin back? We gave him a coin back one day for going up for nap without a fight (this is an issue for him lately), but then I thought that he shouldn't be rewarded with a coin for just normal obedience. I don't want him to think it's very easy to earn coins back, so that he doesn't mind losing them. So, i was just wondering if you could give some examples of things you give a coin back for. I'm thinking maybe it should be something like spontaneously sharing a toy with his sister. Thoughts?

    Secondly, today I've had to take 3 coins away already, but he doesn't seem affected. I don't think he fully understands that he won't be getting a sticker in the morning for today, so maybe it will hit him when that happens. He almost seems excited to go and get the coin from the chart and give it to me. I'm thinking it will hit him when he gets a privlege taken away like tv once he loses all 6, but it's probably not likely he's going to lose all 6. Maybe we should start with less coins each day? Or just give it time and see how he responds since this is the first day he's had this many taken? What do you think?

    Thanks in advance!

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    1. I LOVE these questions! First of all, it sounds like you are doing a great job!
      To answer your first question.... The best thing you can do for this chart is get your child to the first goal ASAP!!!
      If your child lost a coin, think of ANYTHING GOOD to give it back to them! "normal obedience" is a great reason to give a coin back! You want your child to know that making good choices brings positive consequences...
      Now after that first goal is obtained and you and your child know what is expected and how the chart works you can be a little more strict with it. But the point is to look for little decisions that normally go unlooked and praise your child for it! They will feel GREAT and love the positive attention and want to keep making other good choices! Days are full of ups and downs, I'm sure your child won't think it is easy to get their coins back....you just have to adjust it per child! With my son I had to dig deep to find ways for him to get his coins back and I used normal obedience A LOT! The point of this chart is you want them to succeed!!!

      For your second question....
      Keep the coin chart the way it is! He WILL get it soon...
      just give it a little time and he will realize he wants to keep those coins on his chart!!!!

      Let me know how it goes after he reaches a goal and realizes how the chart is going to work for him!
      Good luck!!!

      Delete
  35. Anonymous7/31/2012

    Thanks so much! This is very helpful!

    ReplyDelete
  36. I just made a super hero chart..i made it so that is is resuable...I used velcro to attach super hero cut outs instead of stickers...the goals are also written on cardboard and then attached with velcro...I love this idea and my son is already excited...one question...I hate to make him wait 10 whole days to get his first goal...Do you think in the first few days you can give extra stickers so that he gets the reward system?

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    1. Melissa, your chart sounds cool! You should email me a picture of it! I would love to see it! I know it's so tough to wait to give the first goal but if you make it sooner then your child might think it can happen like that all the time! I would advise to just stick with it....
      Your child will see the benefits of all their hard work! Hope the system helps! =]

      Delete
  37. This is A-MAZING!! Going to implement this asap! We've been having behavioural issues with my son since our daughter was born almost a year ago. Now at almost 2 1/2, his behaviour has gotten worse in recent weeks. My hubby and I felt at the end of our rope and we don't like all the stress and yelling. For some reason, when he does what he's told (put a toy away, etc), and we praise him for it, he throws a fit. I'm hoping this system will help him see the benefits of good decisions and any thoughts you have on this particular quirk would be welcome. Thank you so much for making and posting this! Once again, Pinterest has proved to be incredibly useful.

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  38. Thank you so much for this! My son is 3 1/2 yr old and is sooo strong willed and nothing works! He doesn't sit in time out, he throws toys, whines, screams, talks back...I'm so excited to try this out! I'm going to make this for my daughter too...she's 5. And when my youngest is 2 I will be making one for him too!!!

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  39. Anonymous9/12/2012

    Thank you so much for this post! I am Johanneke from Brazil (found you on pinterest!) Hopefully i will be making these charts for my two oldest girls 4y and 2 1/2. Just one question about meal times. You said in an earlier reply to a comment that it was better not to use this system when wanting your kids for example to eat better. Why not? And what would be something i could use to encourage/motivate/make them eat better? Meal times can be such a problem... they refuse to eat..or to sit still...what can i do?

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    1. Johanneke, I'm so happy you found me on Pinterest! Yes, Meal times should be handled differently than any other time! First of all, if your children aren't eating at meal times, maybe they are having too many snacks in between meals!?! The only thing I do to encourage my kids to eat better is tell them that if they don't eat their vegetable or meat then they don't get dessert! That definitely motivates any child! If they really choose not to eat the main course then that is ok because it's their choice to make but everyone else will eat dessert and they won't! If they get hungry a little later(in between meal times), I save their meal and pull it out when they ask for food! Otherwise, they have to wait till the next meal to eat and you better believe they WILL eat their food because they will be hungry!
      Now, if they aren't sitting still this could also mean that they are snacking too much between meals because they aren't hungry. If they were hungry then they would want to eat! But other than that, if you are having trouble with their behavior during meal times.... you can use the chart to motivate positive behavior! This has nothing to do with food, and all to do with behavior, so If they wont sit still, they will lose a coin! You could say, "One of our rules is we sit nicely at the table until we are done with our meal, if you get up again, you will lose a coin!"

      This would be a great way to praise them if they do well, "WOW, I noticed that you sat and ate without getting up from your seat! You did a great job! If you had a coin missing from your chart I would have given you one back for this behavior!"(or if they had a coin missing, they would get one back!)
      Please let me know if this helps and if you have any other questions!

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    2. Anonymous9/14/2012

      Wow, thanks for your answer. Amazing how you actually try to answer so many people! Yeah, i try not to give too many snacks, but I'll pay more attention...I'll try not giving any snacks and see if it changes. The desert thing doesn't really work here. Our main meal is in a community type setting and I don't want them to be the only ones to have desert, and it's too much work to give everyone else a desert too! But thinking about this... this whole community meal... that is sometimes hard, because i have to divide my attention between the 3 girls and other people...might be a reason for misbehaving...i'll definitely use the chart for this situation as well! I started making it today and found myself using it in my head several times when talking to the girls. Can't wait to really start! Oh, and if you have another idea than desert, I'll be glad to hear. Thank you!

      Delete
    3. Johanneke,
      Yes, the chart is great because you actually have something tangible to take away from your child if they aren't listening to you! It is great for times when you are with other people and you need them to listen. You are right, they could be acting up because they want your attention! I would say this is more behavior than the actual eating issue.... you could use the chart for this!

      On the issue of eating better, will give you one more tip of what I do! We talk a lot about what we put into our bodies and what makes our bodies work well and what hurts our bodies. It would be fun if you look up veggies or other healthy foods and what they do for your body and show your kids. We talk about this all the time! But you never want to force them to eat anything...We do tell our kids that they could try one bite and then decide if they like it or not, then if they decide that they don't like it they dont have to eat it.
      I hope this helps!
      please let me know how everything goes!

      Delete
  40. Thank you so much for this idea. I found your chart on pinterest, I made mine slightly different using a corkboard instead of posterboard (because we already had one). We just started today...so we will see how it goes! My son is 3 1/2 yr old and is usually good, but lately he acts up at home and has started talking back, so I wanted to correct this behavior before it becomes a big problem because he is going to have a little sister in about a month. I also think it will help my husband & I to stay consistent with him. Thanks again!

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    1. Jess, I have been through it twice, its a hard adjustment adding a new baby to the family! But everything kind of settles down in two months when everyone gets used to the new addition! =) This is a great thing to have for your son especially during this time!! I hope all goes well with the birth of your little girl! Such an exciting time! God Bless

      Delete
  41. I've been looking for a behavioral chart system for awhile now and wasn't pleased with the ideas I was coming across until yours! I spent an entire evening crafting one for my son and we've been using it for just two days now. So far, it's had a GREAT effect on his decisions! We made a super hero chart and he just loves it. I will definitely send you a photo sometime! Thanks for sharing!

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  42. This looks like just what we need to implement as time-outs are not very effective (in my opinion). I'm wondering what you suggest if my daughter is at a full day preschool and we can really only implement this during morning routine and evening. She is 4, and it seems like 6 coins is a lot of chances for only 3 awake hours at home during weekdays and I obviously can't send her coins to school and ask the teacher to do this when she has 7 other kids in her class. She has chores and expectations we have set for her, but she is whining and not listening when I ask her to do things when she used to be excited to do them.

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    1. Crystal,
      I'm glad you found my chart! I totally understand what you mean by your daughter is mostly at school....
      This chart is perfect for your situation... and six coins is good! I have had times with my children where they get ALL six taken away in one incident, which we would hope rarely happens! ;)
      Remember, even if your daughter gets one coin taken away she will not receive her sticker for the day!
      The six coins just act as added leverage.... if they are making a lot of bad decisions... then when they are all gone something else is taken away for the day!
      Even if you do this chart JUST at home, she will know what is expected of her when she is there!
      Most kids adapt to different rules when at different places!
      I hope you try it out!
      I'm sure it will help your situation!

      Delete
  43. Anonymous9/29/2012

    Love this chart! I was wondering how you would handle this- anytime I have some type of reward system for my son,2 1/2 yrs old, he obsesses over it, asking about it all day and doing it over and over again to get the reward (ie- for potty training, he got half an m&m for going pee in the potty, so he went all the time! He had an amazing ability to pee ALL day long!). Thanks for your help!

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    1. All I have to say about this is that would be awesome when it comes to this chart because he would want to keep his coins and he would really learn that good behavior pays off!
      Some of that "obsessing" behavior is his age....

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    2. I hope this chart helps u out!
      God Bless!

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    3. Anonymous10/01/2012

      So if I give him a coin for doing something and then he does it three more times, I give him three more coins? Also, is whining/crying a reason to take a coin?
      Thanks for your help! I am making my chart this week and hope to start ASAP!

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  44. I am SOOOO excited about this idea! My daughter inherited what my kindergarten teacher termed "confidence", i.e. strong-willed, independent, and always right. Sadly I totally have to own up to her being JUST LIKE ME as a kid--no one else to blame around here for those traits ;)

    So we ran out to buy everything and stayed up super late the other night making it (our daughter was asleep, just the adults up late for it thankfully). We went a little complex because I'm just that way so our coins were made via the Cricut (Mickey and Friends) and the chart is a smaller piece of paper posted to the poster using photo corners so we can take it out when it gets full and replace it since I really like the poster we made and didn't want it to build up too much over the years.

    I sent you pics to your email if you were still looking for those for a post but I have more updated pics on my FB page. I came back to say that she got her coins this morning and was crazy excited. She has already lost and earned a coin this morning (before 10am) and has been really good since--she didn't care to give up a coin already. I dread the time of 6 lost coins though (cartoons or ipad games will just kill us both but it'll be worth it in the long run).

    If your blog has a FB page I'd love to see an album of people's charts there--just an idea.

    <3 Thanks so much for sharing this with us!!

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    1. I should say, she stayed up long enough to decorate the side area with her stickers she chose at the store...after that it was just Papa and Momma working on it all.

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    2. Katie,
      I loved the pictures of your chart!!! I have yet to post about other peoples charts!!! It is something I really want to do. I am also working on starting a Facebook page for my blog so people could post their charts, how it has helped them with their child, and questions they have! I hope everything is going well! Keep me posted!

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    3. Thanks, Colleen :)

      We had fun making it even if it took a lot of extra time than I should have let it going with Cricut stuff for the coins--don't do this...seriously, it was painfully long process for my hubby. LOL

      It is really starting to click with our daughter (2 1/2 years old) but we still have hiccups of course. She rarely will give us ONE coin. Oftentimes it is either a defensive stance in front of her Coin Cubby or it is multiple coins being given over at once with a grin.

      One hint I have for younger or visually motivated kids is using a goal/prize that can be displayed easily on the poster at least the first run through. My hubby found a Hello Kitty dvd (which honestly thrills our daughter) and he stuck it up on the poster using poster sticky things and explained when she would get it to her. All of this happened before I knew about the dvd even. She had 4 stickers at the time this happened and the next two days were very good days because all of a sudden she had more than a daily sticker to concretely see where she is headed. Pictures of goals would work but this is crazy awesome motivation having a movie right on her poster this time. Great prize for the first goal for our daughter.

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  45. Colleen thank you for this post! I lotart our chart and the whole concept on consequences for choices and actions. I have a couple of questions for you on how I can make this work for my two and a half year old son. My little guy is generally pretty good except when it comes to his baby sister. Recently he has gotten mean towards her, he hits, pushes, yells in her face, basically he is a bit of a bully to her. But then five minutes later he loves her and he is quick to help her or give her hugs and kisses. My husband and i dont know what more to do and i am anxious to try this out. My question is do you think that just giving me a coin for hurting his baby sister is sufficient or should he also go in the corner for a cool down (which is currently what we do)? Also my next question is about the punishment. He likes to watch shows and play with the iPad but not so much that he asks for it every day so I don't think taking that away will be a big deal to him. However he LOVES to go to the park and/or the library and we go everyday. The problem is we usually go in the mornIngs and I don't know how I can take that away from him without it being the next day when we should be starting fresh. Any suggestions? Thanks for the great chart idea and wonderful tips I am really looking forward to starting this in our home!

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    1. Dave and Mandi,
      Thank you for your interest and for your questions! Your first question about when your son is acting out to his little sister, I would say you be the judge of how bad it is. First offense just take a coin. If he keeps it up take another coin and have him removed from the situation to calm down. We parents know our children better than anyone and know when they need to go somewhere to calm down and change their behavior. I still use this along with our charts at home! We have to remove my daughter from situations A LOT just so she can calm herself down! =)
      As for the taking away something special if he looses all of his coins, I would say that you shouldn't take away his library/park unless it was in the same day. For his young age, you might have a hard time coming up with one thing that he REALLY loves all the time! You might just tell him he will lose something special and then it will go with something he is really into on the day he looses all of his coins. Maybe he really likes a special toy...? Also because of his age, if you take a special thing away from him for the day, find a spot that he cant reach but that he can SEE what he lost. Sounds like torture but you want to remind him that loosing all of his coins isn't a good thing! I hope this helps! Please let me know if you have any other questions! Good luck and God Bless!

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    2. Thanks Colleen!! We are starting today. I will let you know how it goes!

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  46. Hi....just trying to figure out what it says on the top left corner of the chart before C. O. I. N. S.
    I love the idea and want to make a chart for my 3 year old ASAP! Thanks!
    Nancy

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  47. Colleen I am thrilled with your chart. We are trying to practice the nurtured heart approach with our 5 year old due to her defiance and cheeky attitude. This chart will work so well with it. I was wondering if there is anywhere I can view some of the other charts created by other readers? They all sound great!!!
    Thanks again
    Tracy

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    1. Tracy,
      I am working on a post about charts others have made....
      and I JUST started a Facebook page! you can "like" my page...
      I am encouraging people to post their charts on that page and also bring up questions so we can have others in on the conversations! =) I have never heard of the nurtured heart approach! I'm gunna look it up! Thanks! =)

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  48. Anonymous11/08/2012

    Colleen,I have an active 4 year old and pretty bright! His behavior is so... different at home then at school. I always get some news from school saying that he hits and pushes the kids and teachers. How can this chart help my son? At home his behavior is good.. i dont know what else to do.

    Yazmin

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    1. Yazmin,
      If I were you, I would start the chart at home. It is perfect for things like this!
      It just helps your child know that if you are there or not, they still have to follow the same behavioral rules.
      I'm sure his teacher would be happy to tell you if there was any problems at school and you can take coins away when you pick him up. Also be sure to remind him on the way about his chart and how good chioce help him earn goals and that you will be asking his teacher how he did at school that day! He will start to get it and hopefully change his behavior at school! Also, at 4, it's a perfect age to start earning money and saving up for things he wants... so this chart would be beneficial in more ways than one!

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    2. Also, after starting this I'm sure you can tell his teachers about the chart and they can "take away" or "give back" coins as the day goes on.... and just keep track on a piece of paper and when he get home you can have him take the number of coins lost off his chart! (hopefully there will be days he KEEPS them ALL) =) I'm sure the teachers would love to have something to help him better his behavior at school.

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  49. Anonymous11/09/2012

    Thank you! i will start the chart today.. i will come back and let you know how he is doing

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  50. I found this back in June and posted on here that I would come back and post images of our chart. I'm featuring the chart and how I made it on my blog next week. We've been using it for about 5 months now and love it! I took your ideas and ran with them and have told all of my mommy friends about your idea. Thanks for sharing with us.

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    1. Cari,
      I am so excited about this!!! You would be the first person getting back to me with more of a long term use of my coin chart system!!!! I am so excited that you are going to blog about it! Right when you do, I will get a post up about it1 Thank you so much! You will be helping MANY people by blogging about it!!! I am so happy it is working for your family!!!

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    2. Colleen, here is the post about our coin chart system we have been using in our home. I'm happy to share it with others. I've told soo many people about it it's crazy. http://reachforthestarberries.com/2012/11/27/behavior-coin-chart-system/

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    3. Thanks Cari!!! I can't wait to post about it!

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  51. I'm thinking about making this chart for my 3 1/2 year old son. He has a hard time listening (at home), still isn't potty trained, and has started to back talk. I find myself yelling a lot. We've been unsuccessful w/ a sticker chart we used for potty training. He would get a sticker every time he went and after 2 stickers would get candy. He is more of an instant gratification kid and gets very emotional when told no or that he can't have something. How did you introduce the chart? Did you explain the kind of behavior that would lead to the coins getting taken away or just explain as you went and stay consistent? And the coins can be earned back w/ positive behavior/choices? Did I read you don't punish for potty accidents? I appreciate any advice you can give me!

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    1. Megan, reading this puts me right back there with my son!!!! I had the same problems with potty training!!! Actually what happened with us was on his fourth birthday we ended up telling him that he is a big boy and he is now only wearing underwear... He had a few accidents but got used to it basically... You can use the chart to reward when he remembers to go but when it comes to potty you don't want to discipline! It has helped us over the years to try and ignore when our son has an accident... Let it go, clean it up, and move on quickly... It is not like a normal behavior that they can get out of hand with... If he has problems too much later I would more talk about it with his Dr. We have actually had to do that because our son, at 6 will still have accidents with #2...

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    2. Oh, also being in school all day with friends has helped him get in a potty routine that helps him also!! I totally feel your frustration on this issue! Just hang in there with him! He will get it!! On the other behavior issues, you do want to have some kind of system for!!! What I did when beginning the chart was explain it all... They won't totally understand and like I said, they will test it!!! But as they see how it works for them, they will see you follow through and know that unwanted behaviors cost them! I hope this helps!!! Just hang in there!! I know sometimes if feels like you are never gunna get through to the kid...

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    3. But being just a few years out... And with this chart system, my son has actually turned into a sweet kid that is a pleasure to be around! Sorry for the broken comments... I don't know why my phone is so hard to comment from... let me know if u have any more questions!

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  52. Anonymous2/20/2013

    well i am at my wits end. ive spent countless hours researching what to do. my son is just about to turn 4 in a few months, has always been strong willed, though in the last 12 months has turned into an absolute nightmare. i feel like ive failed him, he hits, calls people stupid and idiots when he doesnt get his way. he has made my 13 year ols sons life at home a nightmare, constantly screaming at him, hitting him etc. my partner works away a lot. i had to resort to putting my 3 year old in daycare because i just couldnt handle it on my own. i have no support. ive tried time outs, which i did for a few months and ended up spanking, beacause he would just throw everything, call me names, i have arthritis so it was impossible for me to keep picking him up. my eldest son is amazing and has always been a good child. so this one has just blown me right out of the water. im going to make this chart today, praying it will give me back my son, some sanity, and more loving moments than negative ones. thanks in advance. crossing fingers. deep breath

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  53. Thank you, Thank you, Thank you!!! I have two girls, Ages 3 and 2. Both of my girls are strong willed and spirited in their own way. This was making our parenting styles very mishmosed and what worked for one kid didn't work for the other. I was having a lot of problems with my my younger daughter because time outs did not work for her at all. This was directly influencing my older daughter because my younger one was basically running rampant, antagonizing her, screaming at her, instigating fights, just basically making every one in the family on edge and grumpy everyday. I was searching for something "different" that might work for BOTH girls. Thank God I found your post on Pinterest. We are one day into our new Character Coin system and both girls have literally TRANSFORMED!!! My youngest is just 2 years old and I was afraid that she wasn't going to understand what was going on. Fortunately big sister understood so it was easier to learn by her example. Big sister didn't want to lose a coin so she tried really hard (as hard as a tired little 2 year old could) to really listen and not get a coin taken away. At the end of the day little sister had lost a coin 3 times and earned back 2 of them. Big sister kept all of coins for the entire day. I didn't have to take away any coins once. Little sister didn't get a sticker but didn't mind because she went to be a little earlier than big sister. I'm hoping when she sees big sister's chart in the morning has a sticker and hers doesn't that this will motivate her even more and she can earn a sticker too. Again THANK YOU! I was almost at the end of wits and had resorted to yelling most of the day. At the end of the day both my husband and I would be drained from all the fighting and discipline. I figure the girls basically asked themselves... why do I have to do that? If I make a bad choice then I sit in a spot for a few minutes and then I can go back to what I was doing. The family rarely went anywhere exciting because it was always too exasperating for mom and dad to control the ruckus outside of the house. Yesterday was the MOST PLEASANT day of our parenting lives! Everything was so peaceful and amicable. No fighting, screaming (from both kids and parents), and total cooperation. We had to remind the kids just a few times and kept motivating them positively to keep all their coins. We really worked hard as a family unit. I was heartbroken when big sister told me, "Mommy, you're happy today. I like it". I realized our family had become one big bundle of unhappy grumpiness. My husband and I felt the difference in our bodies yesterday because we were relaxed and actually had a bargaining chip in our back pockets to motivate cooperation. Again, thank you, thank you! You are a real lifesaver. I hope in a year I can say that you have truly transformed our family and the way we live.

    My greatest gratitude,
    Nicole R. (Bay Area, CA)

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    1. Nicole, sorry it has taken me so long to reply back to you! Thank you for leaving me this comment! I love to hear about the positive changes that happen after implementing the coin chart! I am soooooo happy that you had a wonderful day with your girls! That is how life should be lived right!?! If it is ok with you, I would love to put this up on a new post sometime, for others to read! This could give hope to others in your situation! Once again, Thank You and keep up the good work!!!
      *Colleen

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  54. I just want to write and give you an update! We have been using your coin chart system for almost a year and a half now and I STILL am so glad I happened upon your blog! We did however change a few things once my son got a bit older. He is almost 4 now and about 6 months ago we realized that he just expected toys and had no clue the value of them. He wasn't getting that he had to "earn" these goals. So I changed it up. Instead of him starting with 6 coins and losing them for bad behavior, we start with NO coins and he earns them by doing chores around the house. For him its feeding the dogs (with our help of course), dressing his bed, getting dressed, setting the table for dinner, cleaning up the table after dinner and cleaning up his toys before bed. It sounds like a lot but its very minimal. We actually don't called them CHORES, we call them RESPONSIBILITIES. We say that every person in this house has responsibilities and he needs to pitch in like everyone else. But if he misbehaves he goes in time out. If he doesn't go in time out like we ask, he will lose a coin. So, needless to say we have minimal problems with getting him to go in timeout. Also he will lose coins for not turning off the light in the bathroom or forgetting to flush the toilet. I can say it til Im blue in the face but if there is a possibility he might lose a coin, he is all over it! Suddenly he remembers! Haha! So that is what we have been doing and its working great. I love this system and I recommend it to all my mom friends!

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    1. This is GREAT!!! I love how you use it to have him get his responsibilities done! =]
      I am glad he knows his coins are valuable!!! =] we he gets a little older and you want to move to money.... Check out what I do with my older two kids now! =]

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  55. Stumbled across this on Pinterest, and made mine today! I have a VERY VERY stubborn 3 1/2 year old.

    I'll give you a shout out on my blog when I see how it goes for a few days! Right now he is so excited for his coins, he says I will "NEVER EVER EVER lose any coins..." WEll not so sure I believe that but it's a positive start for sure! Checkout my blog... www.bmorefunmommy.com

    Thanks for the idea!!!

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  56. Do you think this will work for a two year old? She is hard headed and doesn't respond to time outs. I'm not sure if she is old enough to get it yet though.

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    1. I would say, why not try it out!?! If she is already having a hard time listening then she is probably old enough to somewhat get the concept of the coins.... worst case you introduce it and then if she doesn't get it... bring it back in a few months!

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  57. Anonymous1/24/2014

    Do you still use time-out if they hit, bite, etc along with taking away a coin? I have a 6 year old son and 3-year old triplet boys and I need help!! There is constant fighting, hitting, kicking, not sharing...you name it. They are all pretty strong-willed and stubborn so I need something that works. Just not sure if you still use time-out or just the taking away of the coins as their discipline. Thanks!

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    1. Sorry it has taken me a little bit to reply back to this comment! I have just had eye surgery and wasn't able to read or go on the computer! =) To answer you question, if my child is out of hand I would send them to their room or a safe spot to "Calm Down" I say that they need to sit there or stay in their room until they can calm themselves down. So, yes you can use something like "time out" to go along with the coins!

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  58. Anonymous3/12/2014

    Can you give me measurements on the chart? I'm trying to make mine and that would be very helpful. How many inches from the top do you start the boxes and how big are the left and right sections?

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  59. Anonymous10/26/2014

    I was wondering if you remove the stickers once the chart is full or do you just make another chart?

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    1. I just measured a piece of paper to cover over the stickers and started over with JUST the sticker part of the chart! =]

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